This is me every morning.
I’m feeling down and want to get my thoughts out. I have been struggling with my IBS pretty much constantly since we started the process of buying a house, which isn’t a surprise because it’s brought on by stress and anxiety. I wouldn’t mind, but I feel so guilty when I’m not well enough to go into work. There’s a constant bad feeling there, and it’s probably because I can’t explain it to everyone, so I’m hoping this will help a little.
I feel like I’ll be judged for having more sick days than anyone else in my team/dept, even though I’m sure if they understood what was wrong with me they wouldn’t judge, but they don’t.
I’m holding on to the hope that I will get better when I have moved house, but what if I don’t? This is going to be around forever, every time something big happens in life, or anything which makes me worried or stressed. It doesn’t help that I then end up worrying about work, and thinking about what I’d do if they finally get fed up of it and take disciplinary action. I have had conversations with my manager and don’t feel he would do this, but it goes through my mind every time I have to call up and tell them I won’t be in.
I suppose I just feel like I’m letting people down, I’m a liability and more effort than I’m worth.
Carol - 4.14 | The Grove
You fight.. and fight it. You don’t give up. And then one day you just change. We all change.
I love Carol