thats what your blog said

I really hate uncertainty. I like to feel safe. I really wish I had the strength to be excited or at least positive about the unknown. To believe that whatever happens is for the best and that worrying about things you have no control over is bloody pointless, but the anxiety part of my brain is not going to let me think this way. 

I want to spend this summer getting excited about my wedding and not worrying about what the future holds.

I’m getting married in 5 months exactly! At this time I will probably be chilling out a bit, mingling, and nursing a very full belly waiting for our evening guests to arrive. 

In other news, I’m exercising every day from now until at least my holiday starts (in may!!) and eating very healthily. Finally going to get back down to the weight I was when I went on holiday last year. I at least need to be that weight before we get married.

So the next few months are going to be busy! I’m going to Lanzarote in May, which is really really soon!! I can’t wait to get away, have a week off and get some sun. 

June is my Mums birthday, and probably one of my busiest wedding planning months, July is my birthday, and August is the month of mine and Daryl’s Hen and stag do’s. I’m so very excited about having a hen do. I’ve never been to a hen do before, and the first one will be my own! Crazy. 

Sorry if none of this is of any interest to you, but I’m feeling happy, and I would like to record that somewhere, so I can use it in the future when I’m feeling not so happy, to remind myself of how awesome this year is going to be. 

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I am feeling so positive at the moment, and I love it. First of all, I started my new job on Monday! Change really is better than a holiday. I have only moved to a different role in the same area I work in, but I now feel positive about the knowledge on defined benefit pensions I have, and I feel like I’m going to be so much more interested in the side of the business I’m going to be working on from now on. I will get to look at a lot more statistics and pull them apart, like mortality rates and annuity/interest rates. I will also learn about investments, how different funds are better for different types of investment! I’ve not felt this positive about work in a long time… probably since I started in admin! I also feel like I’m taking a step up… As I’ve had my first substantial pay rise in my career I don’t feel like I’m starting again.

Other than the job, we have three holidays booked for this year. In May I’m going to Lanzarote with my Mum, Daryl, My brother and his girlfriend! I’m really looking forward to getting some sunshine, obviously! But I’m also looking forward to spending more time with my family. After we lost my Nanny, and the whole lead up to that I feel like we’ve got closer, and we all deserve a holiday… my Mum especially!! 

Me and Daryl are going to Belgium for the Grand Prix in August this year. I’ve never been to the more northern part of Europe together, and I’m excited about seeing Timmy Raikkonen

Obviously we also have a wedding to plan, which I’m REALLY excited about. I’m ready to plan everything now the new year is here. It’s going to keep me really busy up until September. After the wedding we’re going to Italy for our honeymoon, which is going to be amazing. Italy is somewhere I’ve always wanted to go and I’m so glad we get to go there for the most important holiday of our lives.

I’ve been eating a lot healthier, and starting to exercise again, as Christmas took its toll… I now have a holiday to give me a little motivation. I don’t want thunder thighs if I’m wearing a bikini…

I’m also going to be concentrating on my hairdressing this year. I’m going to start building up a portfolio of hair ups, so I can start doing wedding hair for other people. It’s a fun side of hairdressing, and may bring in a little more money for us! Also it’s something I will want to be able to fall back on when we start a family. My independence doesn’t like the idea of not bringing in a full time wage, so when I can’t work a full time job in the future I’ll feel a little less bad if I’m bringing in extra money from hairdressing! 

This is a lot of rambling, but it’s a really happy rambling! I’m so happy to be getting married to the love of my life this year, but instead of wishing for September to be here now, I’m excited about all the things I get to do with the planning of the wedding. 

Life is good right now.